You’re so vain, you probably think this song is about you,
You’re so vain, I’ll bet you think this song is about you...– Carly Simon, “You’re So Vain”
Not Based on Anyone, Living or Dead
If I write a love song, a brief little gem,
Some people will hear it and think I meant them.
If I spin a sonnet or whittle a rhyme,
Some idiot thinks he’s my muse, half the time.
And that’s why this phrase must remain in your head:
This is not based on anyone, living or dead.
Disclaimers are clumsy and not very smooth,
But lately I find they’re a much-needed truth.
As much as you’d like to believe I meant you
When a poem pleads “I love you” or “Marry me, do,”
Please remember this phrase when you’re sighing a-bed:
This is not based on anyone, living or dead.
Do I pine for a lover asleep in the grave?
No, that Muse doesn’t matter—he already gave.
Do I write of a person existing today?
Not a bit—my creation was formed of mere clay.
So a note to the egos of Tom, Dick and Fred:
This is not based on anyone, living or dead.
There’s a good deal of space between fiction and fact,
And I hate to be blunt—I’d prefer to use tact—
But when you think that all of my works involve you,
It’s about time we cleared up a problem or two.
I said what I meant and I meant what I said:
This is not based on anyone, living or dead.
Author’s Note
Published online in the November 2004 issue of Literary Vision Magazine.
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