Running away will never make you free.
– Kenny Loggins
The First Time I Ran Away
The first time I ran away was in June.
I was five.
I had done something wrong (I forget what, now)
and I was in trouble. So I ran.
Down the green grass slope of the hill,
down the brown-sod bank of the river,
down to where the bushes met the water. I crouched,
I hid. I kept quite still.
There is something free
and terrible
in knowing you are lost,
that they will never find you
if you do not let them.
Somewhere above, my parents were calling.
They called my name.
I kept quite still. I closed my eyes.
I couldn’t see them, they couldn’t see me.
They went away.
When I opened my eyes and looked down
into the river,
something white and snake-like moved
in circles, circles, circles
against the mud of the shallows,
just beneath the surface.
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