When men are pure, laws are useless; when men are corrupt, laws are broken.
– Benjamin Disraeli
The Rules
I hate web sites with long legal pages—you know, the kind with sub-subheadings and seven-syllable words and references to the U.S. Constitution and, every now and then, something written IN ALL CAPS, like the webmasters’ lawyer is yelling at you or something. But, unfortunately, those pages are remarkably effective at making the peons tremble with guilty fear... and you know how I like to make the peons tremble. So I wrote up my own Terms of Use page, complete with sub-subheadings and occasional YELLING. Abide by my rules, or suffer the consequences...
Terms of Use
By using this site (which you are, right now, just by viewing this page, YES IT’S TRUE) you are hereby bound by the following terms and conditions:
- You are of proper legal age to view content which contains mature themes and occasional swear words (otherwise, get an adult’s permission—go ahead, I’ll wait here).
- You are not of an overly sensitive nature, or have any medical/mental conditions which make it inadvisable for you to view a site run by a person who frequently writes about boobies, bodies, and bloody carnage.
- If you ever meet me in the street, you will avoid eye contact and pass silently by. WE SHALL BE AS STRANGERS. *
- You will not refer to me as “Dolores”.
Please note that you are not banned from hating my site, hating me, and/or sending me nasty e-mails critiquing me and everything I stand for. I have a healthy appreciation for differing opinions and lively debate, and I’m not such a delicate flower that I can’t handle a flame mail or a grumpy visitor.
Abuse and Cyberstalking
Abuse, as defined by me (Romy), consists of any or all of the following actions:
- Trying to hack or hijack any part of this site
- Copying my content and publishing it as your own (on a website, message board, or in “real life”)
- Using the mail forms to spam or harass me
- Pretending to be someone else in order to spread confusion, hatred, and/or false information
- Trying to infect my computer or those of my visitors with malicious software or viruses
- Referring to me as “Dolores”
Cyberstalking, as defined by me (still Romy), consists of any or all of the following actions:
- Spending more than five hours a day actively surfing this site, for a period of at least four weeks
- Repeatedly sending me harassing, threatening, or just plain stupid e-mails
- Trying to find out information about my background (phone number, home address, names of relatives, etc.), even when I have explicitly denied to give you any info
- Repeatedly contacting me or visiting my site after I have ordered you to stop
- Continuing to attempt to access my site even after your IP has been banned
- Going through my entire site (archives and static pages included) one or more times per day (particularly if your activites already conform to the first condition on this list)
I don’t spook easily, but when I do, there are no second chances. If your behavior conforms to any or all of the actions noted above, you will be banned from all of my websites and reported to your ISP.
Linking Policy
You may link to any public part of my site, provided that you are not linking from a site that provides illegal information, espouses illegal activities, or is heavily pornographic in nature (yes, that means you can’t link to me from xxx-sex-with-plucked-fowl-xxx.com). You do not need to notify me that you have linked to my site (although it is a nice gesture); you’ll show up in my referrer stats soon enough.
Direct linking to images and non-public files is not allowed and will not work anyway, so don't even try it.
Educators: please e-mail me before linking to my site. As a general rule, I don’t appreciate having hordes of innocent schoolchildren directed to my site, and I appreciate even less the angry e-mails from their parents accusing me of corrupting their precious little babies. Please contact me before linking to any part of my site; hopefully I will be able to either help you find what you seek elsewhere on the Web, or arrange the needed info so that your students won’t see more of my site than they have to.
Privacy Policy
This site gathers basic information (IP address, browser type, and general geographic location) about its visitors via webstat programs and e-mail/feedback forms. This information is kept strictly private; I only use it to get a general sense of who and where my visitors are and how I can make the site better for them. I also use it to block and report spammers and cyberstalkers. None of this information will ever be shared with a third party (unless you’re spamming or stalking me, in which case all bets are off). I will never give up this information. Not even if I’m kidnapped and taken into a little windowless room and interrogated for hours and beaten with extension cords and then dressed like a giant acorn and thrown to the ravenous squirrels. I am a rock. I will not break.
Copyright
Everything on this site is, unless otherwise noted, copyrighted to me (Romy). Exceptions are noted on the Acknowledgments page and/or where they occur. I hope my site inspires and informs you, but I also hope that you’ll respect me enough to not steal or copy my ideas without asking my permission first. (I’m happy to share—just ask.)
