Without-Feathers.com

My music is best understood by children and animals.

– Igor Stravinsky

Music: Misheard Lyrics

I’ll admit it: my senses suck, all five of them. I’m clumsy, nearsighted, have the world’s dullest palate, and couldn’t smell a skunk if it sprayed me—and my hearing’s the worst of all. As long as this list already is, it’s nowhere near complete; I’ll add to it whenever I remember a particular misinterpretation, or when my hearing plays me false again.

“Bette Davis Eyes” –  Kim Carnes

Real lyrics: Her hair is Harlow gold
I heard: Her hair is hollow gold

Real lyrics: All the better just to please you
I heard: Haul a bathtub just to please you

“Building A Mystery” –  Sarah McLachlan

Real lyrics: You strut your rasta wear in a suicide poem
I heard: You stretch your ass to wear in a suicide pose

“The Cheap and Evil Girl” –  Bree Sharp

Real lyrics: Deep illegal sighs, oh, it’s a scandal
I heard: Deep and legal size, oh, it’s a scandal

“It’s My Life” –  Jon Bon Jovi

Real lyrics: Like Frankie said, I did it my way
I heard: Like Frankenstein I did it my way

“Lay All Your Love On Me” –  ABBA

Real lyrics: I wasn’t jealous before we met
I heard: I was a gymnast before we met

“Like A Rolling Stone” –  Bob Dylan

Real lyrics: How does it feel? How does it feel?
I heard: Auto-da-fé! Auto-da-fé!

“Perhaps Love” –  John Denver

Real lyrics: Perhaps love is like the ocean / Full of conflict, full of pain
I heard: Perhaps love is like the ocean / Full of codfish, full of pain

“So Unsexy” –  Alanis Morrisette

Real lyrics: All these little rejections / How they add up quickly and Oh these little rejections / How they seem so real to me
I heard: All these little Egyptians / How they add up quickly and Oh these little Egyptians / How they seem so real to me

“Standing Still” –  Jewel

Real lyrics: Cutting through the darkest night are my two headlights
I heard: Cutting through the darkest night are my two head lice

“Teardrop” –  Massive Attack

Real lyrics: Love, love is a verb / Love is a doing word
I heard: Love, love is a gerb / Love is a doing word

“That’s The Way It Is” –  Celine Dion

Real lyrics: I can read your mind / And I know your story
I heard: I can read your mind / It’s a real short story

“Wires” –  Athlete

Real lyrics: I’ve got tears that are scared of the facts
I heard: I’ve got tears that are scared of the fax

Tidbits