Weekender #10: July 18, 2009
A collection of links, news, and oddities that I’ve come across during the past week.
Categorized
Ladies of Germany, you may now walk the streets in safety: the robber shoe fetishist of Troisdorf is behind bars.
Finally, the Twin Cities have their own lake monster! And high time, too.
Animal news: world's smallest dog (oh my god OH MY GOD TOO CUTE TOO CUTE); excuse me, sir, but your tiger park lacks tigers; beware the carnivorous Swiss zander; cats purr because you fall for it (stupid bipeds); it's a bee! it's a moth! it's a… robot?; if you live in Germany, beware: stone martens are coming for your car; I will spare you the "hot dog" jokes about the puppy with the BBQ fork in his brain (it's okay, he survived); buzzards get you while you jog, but jumbo flying squid (!!!) will get you PRETTY MUCH ANYWHERE; OMG teeny lizards!
I now have a reason to get an iPhone: so I can play an '80s game on it. That's right, Oregon Trail has a mobile edition. (Although it looks too fancy-pants for me; I like my Trail green and black and pixelated, thanks.)
How short can a story be while still maintaining a recognizable genre? David Malki! and his commenters explore the question on his Wondermark blog.
Ladies, burn your hope chests: Robert Redford is married again. For those playing along at home, this leaves Paul McCartney as the only desirable bachelor in the over-60 age group.If you nab him, though, don't plan on any fancy wedding antics — you wouldn't want your romantic flying lanterns to burn down your house or your bridal bouquet to bring down a plane.
Remember the woman who had twins at 66? Yeah, she just died. One hopes this will keep a certain 72-year-old woman from pursuing her IVF treatments.
Israel is a mad kind of place right now, what with the standard Hebrew signs and the cars being parked on the Sabbath. Apparently there is no ban against throwing stones on the Sabbath, though, so a good Sunday stoning should settle all the outstanding issues.
I was all set to write a limerick about the Egyptian president's awful dye job, but then a civil servant there got a three-year jail sentence for writing satirical poems about the guy, so maybe I should rethink this whole idea. Maybe I'll make it a sonnet instead. Yeah. Sonnets are classier.
Robin Hardy's "follow-up" to The Wicker Man is now filming and will no longer be called Cowboys for Christ; the new (and very original) title is The Wicker Tree. Oh well; as long as it's Nic Cage-free, I've got no real reason to complain.
Thanks to a mathematician's discovery of a flaw in the rules, soccer as we know it may never be the same again — or so I assume, not knowing soccer myself.
Accessible porn? What's really shocking about that concept is that nobody thought of it sooner. Next: pop-up Playboys!
I love a polite thief — especially when the note they left, helpfully telling you what they've stolen from your unlocked car, also compliments your taste in music and reminds you to lock your car in future.
The only thing worse than a car crashing into your house: a giant weiner crashing into your house. Try explaining that to your insurance company without getting the giggles.
Finally, someone takes on the "princess conceit" that pervades American culture. I have been bitching about this phenomenon for years.
I knew smoking was an expensive habit, and I'm all for taxing cigarettes, but a quadrillion dollars per pack does seem a bit high.
Arctic goo, Arctic goo / In your hair and on your shoe / Arctic goo, Arctic goo / Is it bad or good for you?
I knew "molecular gastronomy" sounded like a bad idea, and my worst fears most schadenfreudy predictions have been realized: some moron blew his hands off trying to mix in some liquid nitrogen.
Think you can walk into a Swaziland school holding a spear and just stab the pupils with impunity? Think again — those little vigilantes won't even call the cops, they'll just stone you to death right there and then.
[to the tune of "Heart and Soul"] Na-zi gnome / I fell in love with you, Na-zi gnoooome / I think you're funny / But Gerrr-maaans don't seem to think so / Now you're under scrutiny…
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