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Kawaii Kittens, Free to Good Home

November 11, 2008
Animals, Help!

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I like animals. No—I love animals. But that’s beside the point, really. The point that the universe has apparently decided upon is that I am destined to have animals, find animals, care for animals… I am an Animal Person whether I like it or not, I guess.

Yesterday afternoon, while I was sitting at the computer, there came from outside this tiny yet piercing little cry—piercing enough that I could hear it through closed windows and the loud cawing of a flock of crows outside. Piper and I both scooted to the window—Piper is very maternal, and freaks out whenever she hears some small creature in distress—and we both saw it: a tiny, tiny kitten running across the lawn, being chased by big black crows.

You do not need to know the details of what followed, except that 1) the kitten was hiding under an SUV, somewhere up in the engine; 2) the neighbors across the street were introduced to my ass, which was waving about prominently as I crawled around looking for the kitten; 3a) the kitten had a sibling, which I found out when said sibling dropped down to help eat the kibble we had scattered for them, which nearly resulted in 3b) me having a heart attack when said sibling appeared, as I had visions of an entire nest of kittens being chopped into mincemeat when the SUV’s owner turned on his engine; and 4) we gave up on catching them both and called Animal Control. Oh, and 5) the Animal Control guy is very, very nice, but I’m pretty sure he thinks my mother and I have serious problems (Munchausen by Proxy: Stray Edition), because this is the second time in two months that we have called him out to help us rescue a critter from under a car. (Last month it was a fugly little chihuahua that had gotten lost in the city and was wandering down a busy street. That took us all afternoon to handle, too.)

My mother managed to get one of the kittens by simply grabbing it and dropping it into the cat carrier, but the other one learned from that episode and went way up under the hood where no one could reach it. The Animal Control guy ended up calling the cops for a trace on the SUV’s license number, going to the owner’s address to see if they were home (they weren’t), then talking to the manager of the apartment complex where the owners live; the manager got ahold of the owners at work, who said she (the manager) could go into their apartment for their spare keys to open the car and pop the hood, which she did, allowing the Animal Control worker to grab the kitten with his giant forceps and voila! If only everything in life was so easily accomplished.

The results of my afternoon: cramped limbs, frozen fingers, dirt-stained pants, and two tiny little kittens now ensconced in my bathroom.

They are small, they are scared, and they are very serious. They won’t let me touch them, but if I keep fairly still and don’t make any sudden movements, they will approach me and sniff at my hand. They are definitely not “socialized”, but then, neither am I. After several hours here, they are finally comfortable enough to come out of the carrier and play with each other and with the ball I gave to them, but they do so with great focus and gravity, as if playing is a very important business. When they’re not sleeping, playing, or exploring my bathroom, they cry. They are obviously crying for their mother, because if you mimic the sounds or make other cat-noises at them, they perk up and come close to you, looking for the other cat. Piper, who is very worried about them, has been sitting outside the door and calling to them; the look of desperate hope on their little faces when they hear her is heartbreaking. They really, really want a mama.

Unfortunately, we can’t keep them. We don’t have the room, the money, or permission from the landlord. We don’t even have a zombie in the basement. Other than Feline Rescue, we—and they—are plumb out of options.

Do you want a couple of kittens? Do you know anyone who wants a couple of kittens? If you do, get in touch with me ASAP via the feedback form. We’re planning to take them to Feline Rescue on Wednesday afternoon, but even if you contact me later than that, I’ll try to get you connected with them. Oh, and it goes without saying: No zombies need apply.

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