So Long, Paul
September 27, 2008
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Well, dammit.
Here are some things I am planning to do in tribute:
- eat an entire package of Newman-O’s
- bathe in Newman’s Own Sockarooni spaghetti sauce
- learn to play pool
- kick everyone else’s ass at pool
- eat fifty hardboiled eggs
- rescue small children from a burning skyscraper
- impress Katharine Ross with my madd biking skillz
- make Tom Hanks gun me down
- wear a toga—once, and then never wear one again
- face down the entire Bolivian army
- sing “Plastic Jesus”
Or maybe I will just have a long career filled with brilliant work, donate to charity, vote liberal, and stay married to the same person for fifty years. Those would be good tributes, too.
So long, Mr. Newman. And thanks for all the awesome.
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