3.01.07: In Like A Polar Bear ‹ Blog

They sicken of the calm, who knew the storm.
Dorothy Parker, Fair Weather

In Like A Polar Bear

March 1, 2007

Here is a re-enactment of the past week:

CAST:
· The State of Minnesota
· Snowstorm #1
· Snowstorm #2

Enter THE STATE OF MINNESOTA and SNOWSTORM #1.

THE STATE OF MINNESOTA: Oh dear. It is almost February, and I have barely had any snow this winter. I have forgotten what a major snowstorm feels like!

SNOWSTORM #1: I can fix that! Here, let me snow on you!

THE STATE OF MINNESOTA: Okay! THE STATE OF MINNESOTA lies down, and SNOWSTORM #1 sprinkles glitter on her. That feels nice! And now I look so pretty! Thanks, Snowstorm #1!

SNOWSTORM #1: No problem. Exits.

Enter SNOWSTORM #2.

THE STATE OF MINNESOTA: Hey, Snowstorm #2! Are you here to snow on me, too?

SNOWSTORM #2: Yes, I am.

THE STATE OF MINNESOTA: Yay! What fun!

SNOWSTORM #2 pulls out a baseball bat and smashes THE STATE OF MINNESOTA several times.

THE STATE OF MINNESOTA: Urk… auggh… why?… Dies.

SNOWSTORM #2: It ain’t over ’til it’s over, bitch. Exits.

THE END

It is snowing so hard right now that I can’t see more than three feet out any of my windows. The wind is rattling the windowpanes, the snowplows are barely making any headway, the governor just sent most state employees home early and called out the National Guard, and every now and then I hear thunder. Thunder, people.

It’s all good, though, since I have my books, my hot cocoa, my warm cat, and my even warmer husband here to keep me snug and cozy. And in between snowstorms we managed a trip to Ikea, so now we have four new bookshelves to arrange and rearrange. (Some women have shoe addictions; I have a bookshelf addiction.)