Life is something that happens when you can’t get to sleep.
Fran Lebowitz
Rolling ’Round the Bend
January 23, 2007
I am trying to decide between buying Folsom Prison Blues by Johnny Cash or the cover version by Joaquin Phoenix pretending to be Johnny Cash. 60% of me likes the Phoenix version better, but 40% of me realizes how utterly gauche that is and that buying that version means I would have to password-protect my iPod to prevent all the Cool People in the world from casually stumbling across such damning evidence of my terrible taste. So now 100% of me is taking a break from this great musical dilemma to go through all my archived Morbid Fact du Jour e-mails and add all the Morbid Recommendations to my library and Netflix lists. Yes, this is what passes for normal in my world.
Actually, my world is a wee bit wobbly and blurred at the edges today, because my sleep schedule has taken a turn for the royally fucked of late. As a chronic night-owl, I’ve always had trouble going to sleep before midnight, but lately I can’t seem to fall asleep before two in the morning. Last night, I went to bed at nine and lay wide awake for three hours before finally getting back up at midnight (three hours after bedtime—that’s right, I don’t trust you to do the math) and puttering about until three. My version of “insomniac puttering” involves reading, cat grooming, dropping things loudly, eating candy, signing up for mailing lists I really don’t need to be on, eating more candy, and lying upside down and pretending I’m walking on the ceiling. Lately, though, I’ve had to cut back on the late-night reading, because all of my current reading material focuses on Arctic exploration in general and Arctic exploration ending in frozen, cannibalistic death in particular. This is not a problem during the bright and sunny day, but in the cold and snowy night it can get eerily unsettling. I end up eating too much (compensating for the tales of starvation), turning the heat up too high (compensating for the tales of hypothermia), and worrying too much about whether my cat would be up to pulling a sled (compensating for… oh, wait, that would be the sleep deprivation at work).
And now the President of my country is talking, so I should probably go play at being An Informed Citizen and listen to his speech. In fact, not only will I listen, I will listen while lying upside down. (Hey, now it’s like his approval ratings are up!)
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