12.27.04: X-Ing Off X-Mas ‹ Blog « Without-Feathers.com

What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
Phyllis Diller

X-Ing Off X-Mas

12.27.04

Well, the Christmas festivities have officially ended. Not to sound too Scroogish, but THANK GOD. Christmas always leaves a bad taste in my mouth. (No offense to nice relatives and kind gift-givers; it’s probably just my usual immature drama-queen tendencies coming to the fore. Can’t really help those, can I?)

My in-laws are—and I’m so impressed with them that I’m going to venture into the realm of netspeak, whose words should only be applied to the truly great—TEH KEWLIEST. Among the other great gifts they gave me was $15 “exclusively for downloading songs,” because they know I’m really into iTunes these days. How very thoughtful of them. Now I get to download all those Bobby Darin songs I’ve been wanting!

I never did get around to writing a Christmas newsletter this year. Every year, I plan to sit down and write a newsletter—not a real, serious, normal one, mind you, but a parody of the boring missives we get every year from relatives around the country. No, my newsletter will be filled with one-liners and dead baby jokes. I guarantee that we’d never be invited to another family reunion. (I also guarantee that half of our relatives wouldn’t understand it, and might take it to be a perfectly normal Christmas letter. Those are the relatives who still think I’m a “nice girl.”)

Actually, the relation relations went fine this year. I only put my foot in my mouth, oh, about half a dozen times. I made a few morbid jokes right at the beginning of the in-laws’ gathering, but no one seemed to get them and just tittered bemusedly at me. Then I forgot that some of Tony’s relatives are uber-Republican, and I said something bitter about the past election. That, they got. Oh, well. Can’t help my radical views.

I really have nothing more to say, so I’m off to enjoy a day-long break with my husband. Thank God for weekends.