Listmania!: December 8, 2003

In which I make lists.

Categorized

Welp, I’m back, breaking my little impromptu hiatus (subconsciously copying Emily, I think ;-P). I’ve been having massive diarist’s block lately — fortunately, it hasn’t been all-around writer’s block, since I’ve been hard at work on three short stories. Guess I only have so many words inside me. ;-) and since I have nothing interesting to say, I’ll make lists now.

Ten Things That Are Good

  • black-and-white photographs
  • pasta shells in white cheddar sauce
  • Inside-24.com
  • this layout ;-)
  • She-Spies
  • fingernails painted red and green, for Christmas (like mine! [waves])
  • Linkin Park
  • a half-hour workout in front of the TV
  • sex in the middle of the day (woo!)
  • pet rats that never, ever bite

Ten Things That Are Not Good

  • Jessica Simpson
  • Dracula
  • Sunday’s Law & Order eps being pre-empted two weeks in a row to make room for cheesy Christmas specials
  • walking to work in the cold and the snow
  • that woman on “Starting Over” named Audrey… god, who told her she could sing?!
  • procrastinating on Christmas shopping (erk! I haven’t done any…)
  • clumpy mascara
  • e-mail forms that don’t work (grr!)
  • dull razors and strong hair ([hacks at donkey-like leg curls with ax])
  • over-protective spam filters ([whacks e-mail server])

Ten Famous People I’d Like To Have A Chat With

  • Stephen Hawking, because not only is he brilliant, he’s got a killer sense of humor
  • Stephen Fry is a true Renaissance man, and he’s also funny as hell
  • Shirley Manson is smart, talented, witty, and brash, and I like those traits in a person
  • Charles Manson convinced people to murder for him. Anyone who can do that must be a pretty good conversationalist, no?
  • Marilyn Manson is more intelligent and articulate than you think he is
  • Vincent D’Onofrio is a very good actor, and a very smart man
  • Woody Allen may be a pedophile, but he’s still a smart and funny fellow
  • Elizabeth Taylor is funny and smart and entirely confident in herself
  • Paul Newman is smart and decent and I’ve been a fan of his since I was in the womb, goddammit!
  • Alan Rickman is sharp and talented and hot! oh, so very hot!

Ten Dead People I’d Like To Have A Chat With

  • Buddha — oh, the things that man could still teach us…
  • Jesus (I picture him being a lot like Brian in “Life of Brian”…)
  • Harry Houdini — after we’d finished discussing Spiritualism, he could teach me a few escapist tricks
  • Sir Arthur Conan Doyle — I’d like to talk to him about… well, almost anything. Just don’t get him started on Spiritualism, not with Houdini in the room…
  • Oscar Wilde would cut me down to size in no time, but I’d still enjoy his conversation
  • Dorothy Parker could defend me against Oscar Wilde ;-)
  • Bruno Schulz — a bit shy, so I’ve heard, but maybe we could discuss his writings and his art
  • Hypatia of Alexandria has been my hero since I was a child
  • Napoleon Bonaparte would be totally monopolized by my husband, probably
  • Andy Kaufman was brilliantly hilarious — I’d love to find out what made him tick

Ten Fictional Characters I’d Like To Have A Chat With

  • Sherlock Holmes — “off the record, Mr. Holmes, tell me about your strangest case…”
  • Mr. Darcy would be an excellent conversationalist, if I could draw him out of his shell
  • Amelia Peabody—l;we could chat about Egyptology, feminism, proper travel clothing for women…
  • Hamlet is both deep and witty, and those are two fascinating characteristics
  • Hannibal Lecter — I’d love to pick his brains
  • Severus Snape — so clever, so troubled, such an enigma…
  • Data from Star Trek, because… well, who wouldn’t want to talk to him?
  • The Doctor from Doctor Who — particularly the fourth incarnation, as that’s my favorite
  • Agent Smith — imagine the philosophical discussions: humans vs. machines, strength vs. intellect, history vs. the future…
  • Jeeves would be able to solve all my problems, and then dish up the goods on all his former employers…

And that, my little squirrels, is that. @:-)

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