A Letter to My Gneighbors: July 29, 2003

In which I explain to my neighbors what all the screaming is about.

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Dear gnext-door gneighbors,

I’m sorry about all the gnoise this morning and last gnight. See, my apartment has been invaded by a large gnumber of gnats, which (as I’m sure you can imagine) is agnnoying the heck out of me and my husband. Gnaturally, I’ve gone on the offensive against these gnuisances, gnattacking them with folded gnewspapers, gnews magazines, and (occasionally) gnitting gneedles. Hence, you gnow understand, the constant smacks, slaps, and shrieks of “Ye shall gnow my wrath!” from Apartment Gnumber 3. The gnat population has gnoticeably decreased, however, and so the gnoisy gnat elimignation will probably gnot continue for more than a couple days. And, gnock on wood, the gnats will hopefully gnever return. Thanks for being so patient with the gnoise, and thanks for gnot gnotifying the manager.

Have a gnice day,
– Romy