Reviews – Television: P
RATINGS KEY
0/5 – Terrible. Start a campaign to have it cancelled.
1/5 – Bad. Better than golf, but that’s about it.
2/5 – Okay. Watch it if you’re too lazy to change channels.
3/5 – Average. Watch it if you catch it, but don’t rearrange your schedule for it.
4/5 – Good. Do rearrange your schedule for it.
5/5 – Excellent. Work it into your weekly routine—and buy the DVDs, too.
Portrait of a Marriage (2003–) · Reviewed 1.06.07
1/5
Based on the book by Nigel Nicolson (son of Harold Nicolson and Vita Sackville-West), this four–part miniseries follows his famous parents’ unconventional union. Both bisexuals, they each had many extramarital affairs, yet their marriage remained solid and loving. Most of this miniseries focuses around Vita’s long and tempestuous affair with childhood friend Violet Treyfusis. Titillating as all this sounds, it’s actually quite dull; things trot along nicely for the first episode, but by the second episode the story has been reduced to tortured stares, nudity and lewdity, and “romantic” twaddle. It’s not so much a portrait of Harold and Vita’s marriage as it is a portrait of Vita and Violet’s drawn-out love affair, which (despite the constant sex) is remarkably boring, punctuated by obnoxious displays of selfishness and the all–too–frequent abusive encounter. If the titular marriage was really like this, I’m quite amazed that Nigel Nicolson remembers it so glowingly; if this miniseries were to be believed, his mother was a selfish pig and his father was a doormat—and neither of them gave a damn about the kids. Not worth watching, unless you’re truly hard–up for some half–hearted lesbian erotica.
Private Practice (2007–) · Reviewed 10.24.07
1/5
OH NO NO NO THEY MADE A SPINOFF. I take this as final, absolute proof that there is no God. Now get me a stake and a meat cleaver and let’s end this franchise once and for all!
