Rocky IV: Rating: 1 star

Rocky is totally retired — no, really — but then! he is CHALLENGED! by a robotic Russian named Ivan Drago! Can! Rocky! BEAT HIM?!?

Rocky IV (1985)
· PG � Drama
Reviewed March 24, 2007

…Well, obviously, since otherwise it would be Ivan I instead of Rocky IV.

Rocky also gets to single-handedly end the Cold War by winning over the Russians with his plucky determination, then delivering a post-match “give peace a chance” speech that brought tears to my eyes because it was yet another piece of evidence that somebody really fucked up Sly Stallone’s head with those forceps when he was being born — what other excuse could he have for agreeing to make this steaming pile of a movie?