My god, this is like a moment from a horror movie. This is precisely the moment where the mutation or beast will attempt to kill an unlikable side character. But, in stories where there has been no prior cursing, violence, nudity or death, such as in a family film, the unlikable character will escape his encounter, and be referenced later in the story, having learned valuable lessons. He may even be given a humorous moment to allow the audience to feel good about him. This is where I turn to run. You will leap for me, I will shut the door, and you will land a fraction of a second too late.
– the movie critic, Lady in the Water
Reviews – Movies: L
RATINGS KEY
0/5 – Terrible. Not worth the eyestrain.
1/5 – Bad. Only watch it if there’s nothing else on TV.
2/5 – Okay. It’s not bad, but it’s not good either.
3/5 – Average. Rent it and watch it once.
4/5 – Good. Worth watching a few times (or even buying).
5/5 – Excellent. Watch it, buy it, quote it, love it.
Lady in the Water (2006) · Reviewed 4.21.07
0/5
What is there to say about a movie whose “bedtime story” plot revolves around magical creatures called narfs and scrunts? And no, this is not a comedy; director M. Night Shyamalan wants you to take it all seriously. Dead seriously. Which is hard, because every time I heard “narf” I thought of Pinky and the Brain... Anyway, plot: A group of people living in a run-down apartment building find themselves involved in a cosmic struggle between good and evil when a narf named Story (eep, Pinky and the—sorry) visits them on a mission to “inspire” her chosen “vessel” and thereby change the destiny of humanity. But wait! The evil scrunts are trying to kill her! Can she be saved? It actually sounds kind of interesting when I read it like that; unfortunately, seeing is on film is definitely not the same. The same stilted dialogue that marred The Village is back with a vengeance in this film (why is supernatural wisdom always denoted by an unwillingness to use contractions?), and the characterizations are so broad and stereotypical that they border on racist. Interestingly, one of the characters is a movie critic, an unlikeable and self-righteous little man whom the director obviously takes great pleasure in tearing apart (literally)—Shyamalan’s revenge against the critics who bashed The Village, apparently. M. Night, who usually makes a brief cameo appearance in all of his movies, gives himself a meatier role as the “vessel”, the author who will be inspired by the narf. At one point, wondering about the effect his narf-inspired book will have on his own future, he asks Story, “Will they kill me for writing this?” Well, killing’s a bit extreme, Mr. Shyamalan, but I do want my money back.
Little Miss Sunshine (2006) · Reviewed 1.06.07
4/5
A dysfunctional family embarks on a wacky road trip to enter their ugly-duckling daughter in a beauty pageant—and no, it’s not as bad as that summary makes it sound. In fact, it’s a dark and witty comedy which knows how to walk the fine line between amusingly quirky and overdone slapstick. A good deal of this has to do with the perfectly-picked cast; Robin Williams or Steve Martin would have chewed the excellent script to shreds, but Steve Carell and Greg Kinnear keep it deadpan and tongue-in-cheek. (Oh, and huge props to Abigail Breslin, who is one of the best child actors in America today.) I’d heard the ending was a bit too “feel-good” to dovetail well with the rest of the film, but I thought it fit nicely with the misfit theme. Definitely worth watching . . . hell, it’s even worth buying.
