Garden State: Rating: 1 stars

Angsty, mopey, crappy indie.

Garden State (2004)
2004 · R · Drama
Reviewed March 24, 2007

So there’s this pasty-faced young guy (Zach Braff), and he’s all emo and shit, and then his mom dies and he goes back to New Jersey for the funeral, and then I go CLICK with the remote, because pasty-faced young guys who bask in their cultural disassociation are boring, on film as in life. The inevitable entrance of Natalie Portman would have added unbearable cuteness to an already abysmal morass of self-pity masquerading as social commentary, desperate attempts at quirkiness, and Braff wandering slack-faced through the indie soundtrack of modern despair. To paraphrase Dorothy Parker: If you can watch it, well and good / But as for me, I never could.